Monthly Archives: October 2016

The leaves are turning again.

It’s summertime 2001.
I’m in my parents’ kitchen
drinking a protein shake
at the end of the run home with you
after summer gym class.
I haven’t been a runner since.

It’s somewhere around 2004.
I’m in my parents’ kitchen
baking white chocolate macadamia nut cookies
that I will say are homemade
when I bring them to your dorm room.
Years later, I’ll admit I’m a liar.

It’s winter break 2009ish.
I’m wiping the sweat off my beer glass,
telling you, “No, I’m sorry”
and feeling lighter and heavier
at the same time.

It’s who-cares-when in 2013.
I’m sitting on my best friend’s floor
sipping some kind of mixed drink
and texting you the names of restaurants
where you can take your new girl
when she’s in town.

It’s still freezing in early 2016.
I’m shivering in the parking lot of my apartment
telling you I wonder whether I was wrong
and that years-before lighter feeling
was just a shifting of baggage
rather than a release of it.

It’s October 2016.
I’m standing in my kitchen
chopping vegetables and singing along:
“Put another ex on the calendar,
Summer’s on its deathbed,
There is simply nothing worse
than knowing how it ends…”
when I nearly cut myself
because I stopped paying attention.

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